The RAW ABC After School Special (3/19/2012)

Once upon a time, I looked forward to this time of year. I know I am critical of the current WWE product, but I just do not see how anyone can find the show entertaining. Big Show is pinned in less than a minute as he slowly marches to WrestleMania. Mark Henry‘s World title push is such a distant memory after getting buried by Cena, and then having the Rock make sure all the dirt was on the pile. Absolutely nothing makes sense in WWE’s desperate attempt to create buzz (CM Punk‘s profanity).

WWE wrestling 8-29-05 charleston sc

WWE even trotted out Randy Orton for a pointless interview segment that had me realize that Randy is in nothing more than a mid card meaningless match at WrestleMania. While I was happy WWE gave more than 5 minutes to a tag match, it was nearly overshadowed by a beef that Vickie and whoever that woman is…

It is likely the most noteworthy thing that happened tonight was Shane Douglas trolling around the Wells Fargo Center in an attempt to drum up support for Extreme Reunion. He was removed from the premises.

Without further ado, here’s the matches we were graced with less than two weeks from WrestleMania:

  • Kane pinned Big Show in :52 (top rope chokeslam)
  • David Otunga pinned U.S. Champion Santino in 1:47
  • Daniel Bryan beat Zack Ryder by submission in 1:44 (LeBell Lock)
  • John Cena pinned Mark Henry in 7:56 (Attitude Adjustment)
  • Sheamus pinned The Miz in 3:01 (Brogue Kick)
  • Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger defeated Kofi Kingston & R-Truth in 4:34 when Ziggler pinned Truth (Zig-Zag)

The longest match was 7:56…

Anyway, since the wrestling was counterproductive, maybe the promos were the saving grace.

Not quite.

The CM Punk/Chris Jericho feud should have just been about who was better. Instead, in an attempt to be edgy, Jericho tells the world that Punk’s father is an alcoholic. If that weren’t enough, now Punk’s sister is a drug addict and Jericho was close to saying that she gives BJs for crack in the alley. I just don’t get how it got to this, or why. My interest level in the match has shrunk to the point of just not giving a damn, and I fear that WWE is going to drag this further down.

The Rock and John Cena agree to a match at WWE...

The Rock and John Cena agree to a match at WWE WrestleMania XXVIII (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Rock gave another promo in the streets of Philadelphia. He tried linking some big WrestleMania matches to his match with Cena. Then, he said, with a straight face, that beating Cena would validate his career.

And, there it is. Cena is without a doubt going over on the Rock to close out WrestleMania.

Randy Orton came out for an interview and just two hours later I can’t recall it.

Finally, after hyping the damn promo the whole night, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, and Triple H were all in the ring…and they didn’t need to be. Shawn spoke about three lines (good), Taker spoke about four (bad), and Triple H wouldn’t shut the hell up (ugly). Now, what I mean they didn’t have to be there is the match and those involved have enough history and respect from the fans that this match is an easy sell.

Triple H

Triple H (Photo credit: Snerkie)

Not only is it Triple H/Undertaker III with Shawn as a ref, but it’s a Hell in a Cell match. No hard sell is needed. But, in typical WWE fashion, they have to drum this endlessly into our heads like a rabid chimpanzee with a sledgehammer. Enough already!

I’ve never been happier that WrestleMania is so close. It’s like Vince McMahon has walked into my childhood, whipped out his “jackhammer”, and has pissed all over what I love about WrestleMania.

Maybe I’ve just grown more cynical of a product that refuses to evolve. Maybe I’ve been exposed to better wrestling (ECWA!). Or, maybe it’s just that WWE has run out of ideas onto how to make a wrestling program entertaining.

It was like the show was booked for an ADD Convention. There were frequent flashbacks, way too quick matches, mind-numbing repetition, and just a lack of entertainment. I don’t get it.

I don’t doubt that the top four matches will be excellent in terms of quality. Once WrestleMania starts, I honestly think it has the potential to be one of the better Manias. It’s just the Road to WrestleMania has been filled with so many potholes and construction, I can’t keep myself interested. It’s overzealous booking…

What I liked:

  • The Tag match was a good TV match.

What I hated:

  • All the talk, talk, talking. So many promos, and so little time.
  • No Brodus Clay after his return last week.
  • Non-title matches.
  • All the glorified squashes.
  • Mark Henry and The Miz were champions. Now, they’re fodder. Makes no sense to build these guys up, and just continually chop them down.

Last Week: N/A

This Week: 4.5

Last three shows watched average: 4.33

RAW is still slogging away in mediocrity. This WrestleMania will not be remembered for the buildup.

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